


The only thing left

by astarothy



Category: Mo Dao Zu Shi, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Love, M/M, References to Depression, Sad Ending, Sorry Not Sorry, Violence, Xue Yang - Freeform, more angst than everything to be honest, poor boy, xiao xingchen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-27 06:16:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20943686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astarothy/pseuds/astarothy
Summary: Xue Yang wake up in the middle of the night, his heart is aching and he cries in pain... The pain of losing the only one he ever loved.There's only a a few things left: a sword, a small piece of soul and memories who haunt him every single night.until his death come across him





	The only thing left

**Author's Note:**

> * The events don't happen like in the novel, I changed everything a little bit so please don't be upset * 
> 
> Hey guys, that's my first attempt trying to write something that sad and well... I really hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> I kinda feel bad for "shipping" these two but what can I do right? So here's something tha totally makes sense in my mind about this story...
> 
> I'm not a english speaker so I hope there is no major errors here...
> 
> Oh yeah and also the italic parts are flashbacks!

_ “ - Xiao Xingchen! Don’t forget me! – The younger boy said, he had his wrists tied tightly in ropes but that mischievous smile on his face wasn’t gone at all, he didn’t really care about the fact that he was going to spend all the rest of his life in a dirty prison eating nothing but rotten rests of food. – We are meant to meet again… _

_By that time Xiao Xingchen had his eyes locked in that boy with a confused glaze, why was he saying such stupid things? He was going to prison to pay for all his crimes, to pay for every single live that he coldly reaped, it was just a kid but still… one insane kid. _

_\- Don’t pay attention to this guy, he’s just trying to confuse your mind. – Was Song Lan time to talk but his voice was only audible for Xiao Xingchen who was just by his side. – He’s arrested now, we should keep moving to the south to check those new rumors about the cursed mountain._

_ \- Sure… That would be better. – He said to his friend, these two were traveling together for years now, cultivating and trying to save the weakest from all the ghosts, monsters and mystical creatures that were up to no good. The bond that these two created between them were so strong that everyone knew about who they were and how good they were. The only thing that Xiao Xingchen didn’t knew was that in fact they were meant to meet again… not only once, not only to fight against each other one more time.”_

Xue Yang suddenly wakes up, his cheeks were wet from the tears that were rolling down his face, his chest was aching and he felt his lungs burning without air…

\- It was just a dream. - He whispered trying to calm himself down. – no not a dream, a memory… Yes it was a memory, a bad memory.- Anyone who could heart him muttering to himself would think that this poor guy had lost his mind, he sounded insane…

His eyes passed across the dark room searching for some light and when he found it the light came from a sword, the moon reflecting it’s light on the blade making it “shine” to the boy who was now walking to that direction. Shuanghua was a beautiful silver sword with a bronze colored scabbard with patterns of frost craved on it, it was not Xue’s sword but Xiao Xingcheng’s. The raven haired boy took the blade on his hands and looked at it for a moment… The only thing that was left of him was his sword and a small fragment of his soul, that one was being kept on a small bag that cultivator used to hold spirits and seal them.

\- Why am I sentimental now? It was all my fault… You only did that to yourself because I was selfish enough to not… notice my feelings before it was too late. – Xue’s words were rough, as he was really mad at himself and indeed he was.

Too many memories were coming back to him at that moment and he felt so weak he fell in that dusty floor, leaning his back on the wall and embracing Shuanghua close to his chest, he allowed himself to cry once more, that painful tears that showed nothing less than longing, sorrow and… regret. An angst scream echoed in that small bedroom, a cry so full of grief that if anyone could hear their bodies would be overwhelmed by misery and pain.

_ “ – Why are you giving this to me? – Xue Yang asked, staring at that candy on his hand with an confused face. _

_\- The story that you told A-Qing the other day, the boy who loved candy but was too poor to afford buying one… it was about you wasn’t it? - Xiao voice was very calm, deeply in his heart he was really hoping that the boy would accept that candy. _

_\- What makes you so sure about it? – The youngest asked, his eyes still locked in that small wrapped in paper candy. _

_\- I could sense the pain in your voice when you were telling the story, I can be blind but I am not dumb… Please accept it. – In fact that sentence made Xue Yang laugh a little bit and quickly eat the long awaited sweet, a satisfying sigh escaped from his lips and that one makes Xiao smiles._

_ \- Thank you… - Those two words were really rare to be heard coming out of his mouth and maybe that’s why that sounded like a beautiful song in the ears of the oldest one in the room. – It tasted very good.”_

It was obvious that Xiao Xingchen didn’t knew that it was Xue Yang in that time, he was blind after all and all that Xue did was forcing his voice to sound different the entire time, in the beginning his plans were for revenge, to kill the Daozhang and maybe use his body as a puppet to do even more evil things.

Xiao Xingchen was an extremely strong cultivator, of course he was a student of Baoshan Sanren so it was pretty obvious that he was going to be powerful and almost invincible… Perfect for a puppet. But after being saved by him and have being treated so carefully his mind changed in a matter of days, Xue wasn’t able to do anything to hurt him anymore, and he tried… Even against his heart his mind was always tempting him to do bad things, to hurt Xiao and take his body to his own use. To create a monster using the body of an almost angelic person… It was so wrong but sounded so good

. Xue indeed did bad things with the Daozhang, as a blind guy he was easily tricked into killing people. There was a poison that could make humans get really sick, at the point that their appearance would make them look like living dead corpses wandering and muttering without life.  
Xiao Xingchen sword had the ability to sense the resentful energy, but it wasn’t able to distinguish it from the living and from the dead ones, and when Xue had the knowledge of this he used Xiao to kill all these innocent and sick people…

He was the devil anyway, in all his like he had already killed too many people, and he did that disgusting thing without thinking twice, without caring that maybe for Xiao that would be worse than death.

_ “Xue Yang suddenly wake up, feeling pain in every single part of his body, his bones were broken, his flesh had deep cuts and his body were covered in blood, but then he saw that man wearing clean white robes and he was cleaning his body, putting bandages on his cuts with a worried expression. _  
_The man had a bandage covering his eyes proving that he was blind but Xue could recognize him instantly…_

_ It was Xiao Xingchen. _

_The world is really funny, in one day they were fighting with each other and in the other he was there being treated by his own enemy, the weeks passed by and a feel has grown strongly… Xue could have left but he decided to stay for some reason… Decided to spend his life there with the man that was seeing as a enemy anymore.” _

\- If I had chosen to go… you would be here now. – The raven haired boy said, hugging even more the blade of Shuanhua, he could feel the cold blade touching his black robes and it was kinda comfy… At least he could feel Xiao close to him once more.

_“The two boys went out late night, they decided to go and cultivate in the forest… It was incredible that the Daozhang still so strong even with his blindness. Xue never doubted the old man strength but still… He was so delighted by his abilities. _

_\- Tonight hunt was tiresome… you should rest for now Xiao Xingchen… - The youngest man said, the two of them were walking in the night after that fighting with lots of resentful ghosts, they were both tired and all dirty but Xiao Xingchen carried a soft smile on his face. He was happy that once more he had a partner, a friend to go around and cultivate with him… He was so distracted by his thoughts that didn’t feel that rock on the floor and ended up falling on his knees in the ground. _

_\- Daozhang are you hurt? – The raven haired boy rushed over him, bending down to check if the older one was fine. – What happened? _

_\- I’m fine don’t worry… - He said with a smile appearing once more on his lips. – Just got distracted and tripped on that rock. – He wasn’t ashamed at all, accidents can happen anyway, even with a strong cultivator. _

_\- Let me help you. – Xue Yang said passing his arms around Xiao’s waist and helping him to get up his feet once more. – Here… can you walk? Does it hurt? _

_\- Calm down little one, it was nothing I swear… - He said giggling a little, it was funny to think how worried his friend got just by a stumble. – Y You can let me go already huh?_

_ Xue Yang had not noticed until now that his arms were still around Xiao’s waist holding the other man’s body so close to himself, when he finally realized that he felt his heart beat faster and he felt his body get hotter and hotter… What was that? _

_\- S Sorry… - He said feeling completely lost, what was that feeling? – Xiao Xiangchen, can I… _

_\- What? – The older asked confused, but before he had the chance to say something else he felt the other one lips pressing against his own. _

_It was just a small peck at the beginning, but it took no less than two seconds for both bodies start asking for more. The small peck became a needy kiss were both men battled for control, the grip on Xiao’s waist became stronger and his body was now so close to Xue’s that he could feel the warmness and the excitation on the youngest body, both tongues fighting and exploring the inside of each other’s mouth, the hands of the blind one touching Xue’s back with affection. _  
_Xue’s lips had a strong and addictive flavor while Xiao’s were sweet as the best candy he has ever tasted. _  
_Both bodies were screaming for more touches, for more intensity, for love… _

_That night they didn’t come home, leaving A-Qing nervous and worried at home._

_ They made love, the youngest one was so needy of Xiao’s touches, he wanted to feel him, we wanted to know how it was… His first kiss followed his first time in bed… and he couldn’t be happier that it was Xiao Xingchen who took him._

_ After that night things felt different for Xue Yang and everyday he came to find candies on his pillow, for the first time in his life he felt happiness.” _

But it was over now, he tricked Xiao Xingchen, he made the old one commit so many wrong things, so many crimes… And then he did the worst, Song Lan was dead, his tongue has been torn out by Xue Yang, but the final blow was Xiao who gave without even knowing that it was his so loved friend who was being coldly killed by his blade.

\- It hurts… it hurts so much. – Xue Yang cried out loud once more.

– Xiao Xingchen… what have I done?

The scream that his Daozhang gave was still echoing on his mind, after that he took his own sword and killed himself, Xue Yang couldn’t believe in that, he didn’t want to believe in that.

_ “ – No… You can’t be dead Xiao! WAKE UP! – the screams of the young man were full of pain, he destroyed everything that he could had destroyed in that room trying to relieve his pain, but that didn’t seem to work. He carefully cleaned all the blood of his beloved one, taking care of his wounds, cleaning the body and brushing the hair… _

_He tried everything that he could had tried, but all he got was the confirmation that he was dead. The only thing left was Shuanghua and that small part of his soul… and a bunch of memories of the happy times that would never came back to him. Xue Yang buried him on Yi City and left, he had hope that somehow he could bring Xiao Xingchen back to live… back to his arms that now were full of guilty and regret.” _

\- GIVE HIM BACK TO ME! – The raven haired boy screamed again and again and again, effortless it was…

No one would ever dare to help someone like him. The guy was faded to live with his guilt, with his pain, with his loneliness until the rest of his days…

It was for sure worse than the prison, worse than death.

And when the death came he embraced it with happiness, a smile on his face and a candy on his hand…

That candy which his beloved one gave to him many time ago… With his live leaving his body he felt cold but most than that he felt happiness…

He was finally free from all the suffering, from all the loneliness.

And maybe, just maybe…

He would be able to find his first and only love and beg for forgiveness....


End file.
